“Retired Team Player” Crewneck
For when "teamwork" starts to feel like unpaid emotional labor. This crewneck says, “I’m not difficult, I’m just no longer available for group delusion.” Cozy, petty, and built for passive resistance in office temperatures below 65°F.
“Protectin’ My Vibe” Hoodie
Soft rebellion in hoodie form. Looks great on people who quit things that were killing them slowly. Comes with just enough edge to confuse your coworkers and comfort your inner child. Back text optional: “I’m not avoiding you. I’m avoiding everything.”
“Soft Skills Are a Lie” T-shirt
For the ones who keep getting told they’re “too direct” while carrying the entire project. Minimalist front. Sleeve detail: A tiny trash can with “Team Player” inside it. It’s giving quiet quitting, loudly.
“Still Too Capable” Mug (15oz)
Because they keep saying “but you’re so good at your job,” and you’re just trying to quietly disassociate into your tea. Dishwasher-safe, burnout-approved.
Sticker Sheet – Soft Rebellion Pack
A chaotic little therapy session you can stick on your water bottle. Includes: “This is not small talk, I’m just unraveling.” “I’m not mean, I’m just at 1% capacity.” “Retired Team Player.” “Soft Rebellion Club Member." Perfect for passive-aggressive laptops, trauma-plastered notebooks, or whatever surfaces are surviving late-stage capitalism with you.
