“Retired Team Player” Crewneck
For when "teamwork" starts to feel like unpaid emotional labor. This crewneck says, “I’m not difficult, I’m just no longer available for group delusion.” Cozy, petty, and built for passive resistance in office temperatures below 65°F.
“Protectin’ My Vibe” Hoodie
Soft rebellion in hoodie form. Looks great on people who quit things that were killing them slowly. Comes with just enough edge to confuse your coworkers and comfort your inner child.
"Dear Capitalism" Hoodie
This isn’t just a hoodie. It’s a resignation letter you can wear. This is your official merch for leaving grind culture on read. Front: A bold cassette graphic stamped with the breakup line heard ’round the conference room—“Dear Capitalism, We’re Breaking Up.” Back: A discreet QR code linking to your post-capitalist breakup playlist and handwritten letter to the system that raised us on hustle and ghosted us at therapy.
“Still Too Capable” Mug (15oz)
Because they keep saying “but you’re so good at your job,” and you’re just trying to quietly disassociate into your tea. Dishwasher-safe, burnout-approved.
Sticker Sheet – Soft Rebellion Pack
A chaotic little therapy session you can stick on your water bottle. Includes: “This is not small talk, I’m just unraveling.” “I’m not mean, I’m just at 1% capacity.” “Retired Team Player.” “Soft Rebellion Club Member." Perfect for passive-aggressive laptops, trauma-plastered notebooks, or whatever surfaces are surviving late-stage capitalism with you.
